Two of the Wild Ones

Avatar Author: Eckhouse "Lunch is for wimps." Read Bio

Ryan wheeled the Oldsmobile into the gravel lot of the warehouse, his eagerness met with sliding tires and a rainbow of pebbles outside the passenger window. Peter noticed each detail with slow-motion precision, given that Ryan’s maneuver had pinned his forehead to the window.

Ryan bravely drove to the head of the lot, until he realized no one had left a sufficiently inhuman amount of space in which to park the Olds. Peter often wondered how streets, narrow and crowded today, would have been forty years ago when every car was at least fifty percent larger than today’s models. Momentarily frustrated, Ryan jerked the column shifter into reverse and hastily backtracked.

He parked hurriedly at the end of a row. “Ready?” he asked, one foot already out the door.

Peter followed silently. The two made final adjustments to suit, tie and hair as they reached the service door. Ryan knocked deliberately, answered by silence. He cleared his throat.

“Cactus. Venom. Rodeo.”

They stood, motionless. Nothing happened.

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Comments (3 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Interesting and vague despite its rich details. You’ve got me wondering. For a minute there I thought ‘prom date’, but then the code words gave it a whole different direction. I also like the subtle hints at characterization for your two protagonists as well.

  2. Avatar John Perkins

    Very much enjoyed the mix of intrigue and mundane actions in this. The ending adds a lot of weight to the fairly pedestrian act of parking a car. Well done.

    I do believe that the first sentence is a run-on, and could use either a period or semi-colon in place of that comma.

  3. Avatar someday_93

    The details in this are amazing, and it left me with just enough questions…

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